lingo of my inner voice

Monday, April 24, 2006

Paranoia

These days something weird is happening with me. Now deja-vu moments are part of my routine, its nothing new for me but the thing which scares hell outta me is I get intuitions which then turn true. Few days ago when I have already missed a class and I was thinking that I shouldn't go to the institute just for one two-hour class, I got an intuition that the teacher who teaches us in the second class wouldn't come but still I went and guess what he didn't come that day. Happenings of today were something more than just scary. I mean it was today when I got struck with the idea that these instincts are becoming dangerous. I had an intuition today that sir won't come because he is ill. His brother came to teach us and he said the some thing that sir didn't come because he is ill.. okay this is not that serious.

The next thing is what freaked me out. I was traveling in a bus and minutes before I reached the school I had an intuition that there will be an accident today. Thanks goodness that I reached the school safely. Then while having the journey back home, I got the same intuition again and in less than 2 or 3 minutes time, it hit me hard.. it came true. The bus driver drove over a man or a boy; I didn't see the victim. On the top of it, the driver just ran out of the whole mess so quickly that none actually saw him doing it.

I just get nerves when such events happen. I fetched a rickshaw and quickly came back home. I feel guilty because I didn't even care to look who got hurt or is he alive or not. But it was way too fearsome for me, both the event and the intuition before made it even worse.

I was so paranoid that every step I took was filled with the fear. It was like with the every next step that I take, somebody would drive over me or hurt me. I got literally insane.. and the problem is that such events don't disappear from my mind that easily.

I hope these intuitions just remain as useless feelings and not start turning into realities.. if its for my good then I don't mind ;) like intuition about success, happiness or goodluck =P

PS: I know this is a very badly written post.. it doesn't convey the whole feel but what can I do. I don't it is because of lack of time or simply I have lost all from the small share of writing touch that I had.

Link for the day: Why I shut down my blog by Sarah Hepola

Scented Words posted by Raheel Lakhani :: 11:33 PM :: 4 Comments:

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