lingo of my inner voice
Sunday, July 31, 2005
..enuff blogging for today, See ya tomorrow!!
till then take good care of yourselves
*adios samigos*
Saturday, July 30, 2005
I am ill again. Yes once again I am suffering from fever and the same old cough. According to my doctor, I am very sensitive to allergies. According to my mom, muje nazar lag gayi hai... huh? ab muje kis baat ki nazar lagni hai?! And according to my dear friend Heewa, mein kuch zayada hi beemar horaha hoon. Whateva the case maybe, I am literally fed up with this nonsense of low immunity. Doc has prescribed me to use anti-allergy syrup for one long month to beat this everlasting cough. Now only God can help me. By the way, Thanks Mom for taking care of me like a little baby.
Btw I am gradually dying by getting worried over these matters:
- My weight problem... People think I don't care; neither I get upset when anybody labels me as 'Fat' but the bitter reality is that it hurts! plus I don't feel healthy anymore.
- What people think about me? I am tired of being Mr. Perfect. I know people really bitch about me like hell. I think they either envy me or hate me because I don't live by the rules - I am different in a special way. I guess, there exists a lot of hatred in this world. I think people can never accept you the way you are. And if you don't give a damn about it.. like me, you tend to be alienated/separated from the society.
- My future. There is always some uncertainty attached it. I hope everything shapes up in the way I would like it to happen.
I am the only one who exists!
Do I really exist in the first place?
In this era, we use a reasonable number of disposable things in the course of a day. We all use ball pens and after extracting the maximum utility from them, all we do is throw them in a dustbin. Similarly, we use tissues and we throw the wet ones in a dustbin too. And the list of disposables goes on. We are unconsciously so much involved in this kind of lifestyle that we ourselves have become something like 'The Disposables'. We don't regard our life anymore as we have completely overlooked its importance as if it also belongs to use-it-and-throw-away genre. We have thrown away our values because we consider them nothing but a hurdle in our route to success or so-called happiness. The things which were considered wrong in the past, have now become merely untraditional as the world is following it blindly.
We have now turned into such cold-hearted individuals who don't have any feelings for those who aren't equal to their status, standards or belief. We can't give them even a smallest share of our affection because they didn't qualify as *the profit generators of our desires*
Nowadays, we can see an increasing number of old age homes coming to existence where live those elderly helpless citizens whose mean children throw them in such places as if they were some empty useless ball pens. They are no longer respected because they aren't beneficial anymore.
We, in general including me, have become narcissistic and self-centered to such a great extent that we tend to become biased in doing any good to ourselves too. We have lost our identity of a human and now we rest somewhere among the trash with a label "Throw me away, I am Mr. Disposable!"
PS: I hope this post makes some sense.
I am completely pissed off right now. Why the initial hours of saturdays are always so painful? I wrote a big meaningful post and I was about to click the Publish button that electricity went off. Damn, this recover post feature doesn't seem to work too. I had the same bitter experience last saturday. I will write and publish that post pretty soon.. inshallah anytime today. In the mean while, KESC die.die.die arrghh :@
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Imagination or Illustration?? still a question.Today, I read the novel "Love story" by Erich Segal. I picked it from the library because Rani was reading it in a movie =P and they projected the book with great hype. Secondly it was a short novel so I can complete it in lesser time as I can't afford to waste a second these days for the reason that my examinations are lined-up.
It was an okay read because as soon as I reached the second chapter(and the book has total 22 chapters), I realized that I have already seen an indian movie based on the same story. The movie was far better than the much-hyped literature. Anyways I enjoyed reading it as I can imagine the characters in the way they were shown in the movie. If anyone hasn't seen the flick 'Khwahish', then you may also get pleasure from reading this light romantic tale.
PS: Mallika Sherawat's acting in the same movie was awesome. Unfortunately it was the most overlooked performance of that year.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
August baby!I can't wait for August to come and blast some excitement in my life. It will be a month filled with bounties of fun. First is my birthday on 13th, a celebration of the blessings that God has gifted me from my Day-1 on this beautiful earth. I'll meet my friends on Founder's Day of AKHSS(my high school) on 27th. Then there will be Graduation Ceremony of my HRE studies - 12 yrs of education passed with flying colors wow!! And how can I forget my CAT examinations?! They will be scheduled somewhere after 15th. Pretty much to party in this rocking month.
Have you ever seen a grand competition where kids of class I and class III are hosting the whole event? I know most of you rather all will answer in negation but luckily I have! I prepared them, they gave their best shots inspite of schedule changes and praises came from everywhere which they truly deserved. Those kids were damn brilliant. And then I was told that I had to host the toughest part i.e. Gift Distribution. Mashallah se it all went well except a blunder which was kinda embarrassing but not a big deal for a person who was told to do an impromptu act just minutes before the whole thing and he didn't know a single thing about it - not even the schedule and the names of receivables. Thank you my dear God for guarding my respect at that crucial moment :)
Monday, July 25, 2005
yummilaciousThe bestest breakfast that you can ever had is of DHOKRA cooked by mom's own loving hands. I had the same one today.
PS: DHOKRA is a gujrtati dish, incase if you didn't know :)
Sunday, July 24, 2005
duh!!I am not feeling nice for somebody today because he once saved my precious life. I hate those people who take law in their hands or rephrase it in this way 'I hate Extremists'. You can do anything with a person who has done something terribly wrong but beating him to such an extent that he is half-dead is simply out of question. I don't feel like thinking about this event anymore.
next>>> A test reveals that I was a female in my past life. Isn't this weird?!
A complete mess. I should stop this post right now.. because everything that I am writing will seem crap to you.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Beauty"Beauty is that which attracts your soul, and that which loves to give and not to receive. When you meet Beauty, you feel that the hands deep within your inner self are stretched fourth to bring her into the domain of your heart. It is a magnificence combined of sorrow ad joy; it is the Unseen which you see, and the Vague which you understand, and the ute which you hear - it is the Holy of Holies that begins in yourself and ends vastly beyond your earthly imagination."
-Kahlil Gibran
I am completely pissed off rite now. This freaking load-shedding has crossed the limits.. Electricity is going on and off after periodic interval of 15 minutes. The moment I start writing a post, the computer turns off. KESC either doesn't like my blogging habit or it doesn't want us to have a peaceful sleep arrrgh! :@
However there is no use of talking this shit because I believe they won't get any better in even next hundred years. So let’s talk about something else. Today(technically yestersday) one of my ‘so-called’ friends told me that we should plan to go to AH restaurant. I feel so much guilty because this person thinks me as a friend but I feel like his big bro because he is still immature and quite younger than me. Personally I don't think I share the same rapport with him as he assumes. I don't think I will ever go to that restaurant again in the remaining portion of my life because firstly I hate the place and the food they serve there. Secondly there is an extremely bitter memory attached to it and I don't wanna think about it and torture myself again.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
tomorrow is a holidayI take my words back.. my professor is not that bad. He always praises me, makes me a hypothetical businessman in examples =) In short, he has helped me to be the centre of attraction in the class and the leo inside me is loving it. The best part is he never remembers my absents, so there are no issues if I skip a class or two - what else can you ask from a teacher?!
But if you people are thinking that he cancelled that extra class, then you are absolutely wrong, he is not that good yaar. But who cares, after all I am also not that innocent. If you think I will attend that wicked class then you must be kidding man. I have a valid reason too, my doctor have advised me not to sit in AC for long.. evil me =p On a much serious note, I would get ample time to prepare at least 3 chapters for the upcoming exams.
Hello.. testing 123.. Is anyone there? Are you sure, they are listening you?
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The Black ExperienceBlack is the greatest movie I have ever seen and the most favorite one too. This movie is so awesome that every time I watch it, it brings tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart. Its tough for me to get tired of it. But today I enjoyed it to the fullest. I saw it in its full glory on a dvd which luckily has no problems of sound and color - a rare thing. I got a chance to this piece of art in its authentic colors and to appreciate the aesthetics and camera work. The best part is I learnt many more things from it too. I know this post may sound so boring for the readers but its something very dear to me. Now I should go and put my head straight into those books as I missed my class today so the burden is mounting like hell.
Related Posts:
BLACK I
BLACK II
| What type of humour do you have? Sarcastic humour *points* haha. |
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
My Financial Accouting professor has gone insane. This is surely an understatement. He has gone levels above madness. He says that we are going to have an extra class this Friday 12pm-5pm, that makes a 5 hour EXTRA class and the normal class is already of 2 hours which makes a total of 8 hours, duh !! The worst part is that he says this so casually that nobody can say "NO", arrgh!! I hope I don't go nuts while tolerating all this crap.
Please pray that this class gets cancelled.. a request to all of you.
Monday, July 18, 2005
What calms you?Calm a.k.a Serenity; tranquillity; peace is all we need after a tough day filled with tensions and hard work. Here are some of the things that still calm me down in my chaotic moments.
What calms you? Think you are tagged.
Thanks Shirazi's LIGHT WITHIN
Sunday, July 17, 2005
name-shiftThe News: NWFP Minister Sirajul Haq Sunday constituted a Parliamentary committee to review the name of the NWFP province and recommend its replacement with some suitable name in accordance with wishes of people.Hey people, Sarhad is having a name transformation, she is selling her present identity in order to gain its long lost self. So there are some intelligent suggestions from my side.
- Gunjaa
- Ninjaistan
- Burqajaan
and the best one is still under cover; *Drumrolls*..
NASWARISTAN
Bwaahahahhaa.. no offence.
Do you have any recommendations? I won't give you any prizes for this crap.. mind it!
We all want to have satisfaction and peace in our lives. We all want God to answer our prayers. We all want to be loved and respected by others and in due course we also enjoy our share. But have we ever expressed our gratitude to these people? Have we ever offered them something in return? The best thing to offer to those who have brought even the slightest joy in your life is your sincere Prayers for them.
We, selfish beings always pray for ourselves. We ask better things for us and we can't even tolerate a glimpse of anybody else's progress. In actuality, it should be the other way round. Try this once.. just once, spare a prayer for others and for humanity too while praying for yourself and I bet you, your prayers will be answered soon and the amount of happiness, satisfaction and virtue that you'll obtain from it is unmatchable to any other joy of the world. So the next time when you are conversing with my and yours dear God, do remember me and others in your prayers.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Freshly Baked VideosRecently two new videos started airing on the local music channels which appealed to my eyes. The first one is of the song cursed by overload. Though I am not a big fan of this band as I don't understand what pleasure do these dhol beats give to its listeners but the video is surely a visual treat and there are no concepts attached to it. All the bits and pieces from intro till the end are shot and conceived brilliantly combined with crisp editing. If you live in Pakistan, you gotta check this out.
The next one is a video rather a short film of song Irtiqa III by Entity Paradigm - my favorite band. The concept is very interesting and nicely gels up with the song but I guess the execution could've been betta, specially the climax which was acted in such an absurd manner. Another milestone achieved by Zulfi - the lead guitarist and the main creative genius behind eP. You can check this one on The Musik Channel.
Have a pleasurable viewing experience!!
Usually I don't eat much because of my low appetite but yesterday was really a bad bad day. I ate, ate another ton and then ate some more; drank gallons of water on it and the next thing I can possibly remember is I was about to burst. My stomach was aching badly, I couldn't even sit or stand or do anything. The 1-month-old cough increased the trouble. Gentle medication followed and after all this chaos I understood the fact that over-eating is not only a habit but it can be dangerous for your health as well.
Friday, July 15, 2005
noises from somewhere*Translation of urdu sentences is in italics
- Two ladies in our neighbourhood were talking while buying fruit from a fruit wala(fruit seller) and I heard this: "yaar sabse mushkil kaam hai yeh fruit aur sabzi lena, kitna time waste hota"(It is the toughest job to buy fruit and vegetables plus its so time consuming) ..and I was like OMG!! are these women have gone mad or what?! Can't they see the load of studies on my weak shoulders.
- "Tum es computer per kitna zulm karte ho, yeh dekh kar mera kitna dil jalta hai"(You are so cruel with your computer, and this gives me a heart ache) said dad, and this was my sarcastic reply: "yeh kia koi insaan hai jo aapka iske liye dil jata hai"(is this some human that your heart aches for it?!) Lmao
Dear Reader,
If you are into some kind of charity or social work so please do us a favor. Please distribute some deodorants to those who need them badly. Else gimme an oxy mask or I will finally die.
Thanking You
Veuillez agréer,
Raheel Lakhani
---
^peace^
Thursday, July 14, 2005
only one more month to go! =)Your Birthdate: August 13 |
Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual. Your feeling are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some. |
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Why?- why I am so low today?
- why is it so easy to hurt the mortal man?
- why does it happens that when you put your best efforts and inputs in some work but don't get your deserved reward? Why I worry about these lil bits when I know that eventually it doesn't matter what others think of you because what your lord thinks of you is the thing which counts the most?
"Where selfishness, inflexibility, insecurity and lack of understanding lie; there anger follows."
- Raheel Lakhani
Leo's Preferences
Career:
Actor, Amusement park employee, Announcer, Art dealer, Artist, Cardiologist, CEO, Celebrity, Director, Educator, Entertainer, Entrepreneur, Exhibitor, Goldsmith, Marketer, Master of ceremonies, Movie maker, Performer, Principal, Professor, Publicist, Resort manager, Spokesperson, TV anchor, Talk show host, Teacher, Theatrical agent, Tour guide.
Chocolates:
Likes to own all the chocolates first. SO BEWARE!!
Food:
Give a sunny Leo sunflower seeds for munching. They want spicy food from warm places, like the Mediterranean or the Caribbean. Garlic is not a flavor for the Lion, but they adore cloves, nutmeg and parsley. Remember that Leo wants the absolute best of everything.
Movies:
Great dramatic films and blockbuster romances are the Lion's pride. For your viewing pleasure, everything must be bigger and better, with the brightest stars.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
give me some coffee man!11.07.2005
black coffee can do wonders with your stomach aches, and the best part is it tastes gorgeously lip-smacking.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
uff.. this stomach ache will kill me. I will sue Pizza Hut as their food have caused food poisoning to me. And Mr. cable net provider better improve your service or else I will sue you too. arrgh! these people have made my life miserable. me, signing off with a terrible sensation in my stomach.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
abrupt plans do workWe had a ball at Pizza Hut today with two hours of nonstop insanity and laughter. I was amused to hear that Saebz was lost somewhere because she forgot the route and we got a chance to irritate her. Laughed like hell on the narration of Raza's cooking recipies and experiences of housework, his wife in future would be very lucky. Cursed Umer for his long hairs. And the gossip continued until I told them that it's pretty late now. Missed Neil who is suffering from food poisoning, Hope he gets well soon. Wajiha was busy in her shopping spree and Hira had a plain bad luck. No problem because there always a next time. Cheerio =P
Thanks Hina and Exceer for tagging me.
How I came nearer to reading:
The credit goes to my mom, pappa and Shehnaz aapi. They gifted me a membership of community library on my birthday and the first book that I ever issued and read was about Sharing. I would have read that book about Bazillion times in my childhood. And since then, there was no looking back. More inspiration came from VISION class and recommendations of N-E aapa and Heewa.
Total number of books owned, ever:
Don't ask me about figures and numbers. Nowadays I hate them completely.
Last book I bought:
Are course books included? On a serious note, it was *Linda Goodman's Sun Signs*. Great book for the suckers of astrology.
Last book I read:
'Siddhartha', a novel by Herman Hesse. Perfect for my taste.
Five books which mean a lot to me:(with growing order of importance)
1. My Feudal Lord:
It was the first 300+ pages book that I ever completed and Believe me, it was a damn tough job for me. Politics and relationships when juggled together, can be very interesting to read.
2. Siddhartha:
A novel to which I can relate so much. Self-exploration and continuous improvement is what I want from every moment like Siddhartha. Most people think that he changed religions and lifestyles which soothed his soul and gave him inner peace but I think it was just a part of the plot. There are much deeper hidden meanings in last chapters. On the same lines, Richard Bach's novel *Jonathan Livingston Seagull* was equally inspiring. However it has a distinct symbolic flavor of its own. I know I cheated but hell ya, after all this is my blog yaar!
3. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People:
This book of Stephen Covey and the workshop of Abbas Hussain has been a blessing for me. I learned so much about change, anger and stress management. My life is much better now because of this one book.
4. Second Treasury of Kahlil Gibran / Broken Wings: (..okay I cheated again :D)
You can learn so much from KG's writings, while enjoying the fragrance of his magical words. Insightful to such an extent that you wish to jump in the sea of his expression and drown in it to find its depth.
5. ________
And this one is the secret, nothing better than this. Source of guidance for both my worldy and spiritual life.
My companion in reading:
my imagination, my thoughts and my inner voice; and ofcourse the book.
okay now for the sake of keeping the tradition alive j/k, I tag..
Insiya
Heewa
Kamran
Nahum
Papiguilio
Shirazi
Sidrah
Sidrat
I hope all of 'em are reading this.
PS: My LAN connection has made me mad completely. It cease to work every night. Cable guy says that he will provide DSL service after 28th july. I hope that day comes soon.
Friday, July 08, 2005
at this very second of the timewhen you are harsh or rude with someone, why do you realise this mistake after the coversation?
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Success Part IIOne person (lets name him XYZ) on The Oprah Show - not in exact words,
Mr. XYZ: "According to me success is being a billionaire, I look Jackson as my idol"
Oprah: "What?!"
Mr. XYZ: "Oprah, you are successful because you're rich!"
Oprah stood from her couch with immense shock and aggression: "OMG!! This is success in your opinion. You see that person as a happy and successful person."
Counselor: "Being rich and Being successful are two different things."
Oprah: "You know this nation is so messed up. They are so much confused about the whole idea of success. And Mr., if you think being billionaire is what you call success then you desperately need a paradigm shift."
And now it’s my turn to speak. My idea of success matches completely with Oprah's statement. Success in my opinion is meritocracy. If I have performed the best to my abilities in Academics, Career, Family, Religion, Social dealings or elsewhere then you are allowed to call me a successful person. Money can be a part of your success but richness alone is nothing worth appreciating. Ultimate success is achieving your goals without harming your priorities. If you find that incomparable happiness/eternal peace in your soul, that’s success. If you have understood the real meaning of even a tiny portion of God's universe, this is what I call some achievement. Success and wisdom has no boundaries of status, race, cast or creed. Money is not a criterion to judge success despite of the fact that it surely talks in today's world. So no hails to Paris Hilton =P
Monday, July 04, 2005
live8 concert was damn stunnerI missed it the first time, I was about to miss it the second time too but browsing through channels I luckily saw live8 concert repeats on the musik channel. I missed the U2 and DMB part sigh! Anyways Robbie rocked.. the energy was freaking hot. Maroon 5 was an utter disappointment. Pink Floyd was the main attraction. It was freaking awesome! but the drummer looked so feeble that I felt sympathy for him. Thank God, we didn't had any problems with electricity or cable during the show or else I would have killed every and any one responsible for this predictable crime.
If your internet connection has no problem, obviously it doesn't have or else you won't be reading my stupid blog then please sign this list. Atleast 3 times.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
SuccessWhat is success according to you? What it means to you? Today is your day to say!! Kindly voice out your opinion.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
More good news is pouring in..Finally Karachi received its share of rains rather drizzles today, and I enjoyed this five minute chill to the fullest. Thanks God. I was returning home, met F aapa and she cheerfully said: 'Atleast ghar jaane tak baarish se mera thora makeup hi saaf hojaye ga'(Atleast this rains will remove some of my makeup by the I reach the home) Lmao.
And this rain brought me another good news, I got an A grade(maybe the highest) in my self-improvement class whose network is running throughout the Karachi. Yaay!! Again a heartfelt thanks to my dear lovely Allah without HIM I couldn't have achieve this. This means alot to me, seriously.
Hey, finally some good news is flowing in.
Nahum got a new job with lots of mp3s. Woohooo!!
Sid cleared her IBA test. Great achievement gal, Best of luck for the interview!
Heewa got a great score in her exams. congresslotion, Yaay!!
Saadie won his dream match. Quite an old khabar but still a good one.
Papi Jee is giving me free Papigiulio tablets. Though the news is not confirmed yet.
Today, I will inshallah complete reading the book Siddhartha.
and Mom finally allowed me to attend I-EARN's 4 day conference. Love ya mom :)
On the top of all this, there is no class on monday.. long weekend. Cheers!!
| You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream |
 You tend to be successful at anything you try. A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd. You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream. |
Friday, July 01, 2005
bye bye worries, fears, apprehensionsEveryone here and there and everywhere asks me the same old question: "How are you?" and I always say something like "I am fine" but it isn't true every time. This is something very personal but again I can't lend an ear from anyone to discuss this nor I can write it somewhere else except my dear blog and if someone reads this, it is not a big deal for me because I think there exists nothing as so-called secret personal blogs.
So back to the problem. These days I am having some bad mood swings. I don't feel good, high or peaceful any more, the reason is I worry a lot... Let me write this, a lot here is an underrated word. I worry over trivial things and important things and everything in between. My imagination takes me on a ride of past and future, where all I can see is grief and contempt. And then dust of worries settles in my head for never-ending days and till now you should have guessed that I am still worrying. The thing is, I can't live in present and every fiber of my being regrets it in every nanosecond of the day. I worry a whole heap about what people think/say about me?! I want to be perfect; I know no one is perfect rather I want to look perfect in the eyes of others - all good and all nice. I want a break! Seriously I need the damn help, not from outside but from inside.
From now on, I have to understand that there is no use of crying over split milk and there is no use of fearing over the unpredictable. I hope I can achieve this, I hope my mind get some rest, little peace can surround it. I know God is with me, maybe I am not completely drawn towards him. Perhaps it's the stronger faith which can guide me to pass the river of this ordeal. Wrinkles only go, where the smiles have been.
PS: These apprehensions have gave me a disgusting gift - bad memory. Most of the times those worries take over my mind and the more I want to forget them, the more it gets stuck - the more you focus, the more things expand. Today I was so much involved in this guilt and gloom that I saw a dream where I am just forgetting the things (a hidden desire of mine to forget these worries). Then I felt that I am forgetting these things because I am getting old, but I am only soon-to-be-19. These dreams motivated me to take this step that I don't want this entire nuisance any more.
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